GluttonousPervert> hoshit the air that comes out of canned air is cold.
GluttonousPervert> do not apply directly to the genitals.
GluttonousPervert> not that I just did.
GluttonousPervert> I swear
GluttonousPervert> that was just the adjacent thought
GluttonousPervert> 'man, this shit comes out cold. I better not use it on my genitals.'
GluttonousPervert> FREEZE DRIED NUTS.

GluttonousPervert> I just witnessed an amusing scene.
GluttonousPervert> Mango: *sitting calmly*
GluttonousPervert> Fred: *sitting calmly*
GluttonousPervert> Mango: *sitting calmly*
GluttonousPervert> Fred: FACEHUGGER, BITCH

* Nekogoroshi goes o_O at spammail with the subject line 'thanks for last night'
Nekogoroshi> OOOOOH, SOMEBODY GOT A SLEEPIN FATGIRL FETISH.
* Nekogoroshi lowers all the blinds
Nekogoroshi> THEY'S PERVERTS ON THE LOOSE!

DoodleVonTaintstain> lolz whip cream + cat + dog = hilarity
DoodleVonTaintstain> especially when I hold fred still so mango can lick her head clean
ChiDoll> *facepalm*
ChiDoll> i'm surprised you haven't whip-creamed the ratties
DoodleVonTaintstain> 'MANGO YOU MISSED A SPOT'
ChiDoll> lol
ChiDoll> what gave you the urge to put whip cream on the animals? >.>
DoodleVonTaintstain> it was there, and so were they

DEATHRAY> oh lord jesus fucking h christ
DEATHRAY> someone goddamn kill my ass
DEATHRAY> and the rest of me too
DEATHRAY> I am turning into a fucking woman
DEATHRAY> because I'm getting angry at things inexplicably
PrincethListhpina> but you are a woman lol
DEATHRAY> YOU TAKE THAT BACK

Dainichi> I went to work
Dainichi> I worked for nine hours
Dainichi> I came home
Dainichi> I slept
Dainichi> AND I DREAMT OF WORK.

DEATHRAY> oh, well, that would be why my keyboard felt wobbly, one of the legs was up.
HyperKinetic> Your keyboard is a whore
DEATHRAY> not really
HyperKinetic> Prolly trying to get it on with the mouse
HyperKinetic> Legs up in the air...
* DEATHRAY is now known as SluttyKeyboard
HyperKinetic> Bad KB!
SluttyKeyboard> YOU KNOW ALL THE RIGHT BUTTONS TO PUSH

* Lyme brings a big spoon and a pot to bang it on
Lyme> and my brain just added, 'and by bang I mean have sex with'
* Lyme slaps her brain.
Lyme> No, I didn't mean that. You pervert
ChiDoll> *giggle*
Lyme> and now I'm giggling at the idea of 'spoonsex'
ChiDoll> i'm hoping handle-first, 'cause otherwise, ow
Lyme> although, you know, me having sex with a spoon on top of a pot in someone's front lawn would surely drive them to suicide
* ChiDoll snorks
Lyme> ... I love that sentence way too much.
Lyme> That is a 'if it weren't for my horse' sentence if I ever heard one
ChiDoll> i did NOT need that in my head at 1am, even if it is making me laugh like a lunatic
Lyme> BANGIN ON POTS
Lyme> will now forever have a different meaning for you.
Lyme> spoon rape.
* Lyme cackles.

Lyme> dear brain: When someone asks you what you dream about, the first words that come to mind should never be 'dead babies and raping your face'.

ChiDoll> i wonder what spaghetti on pizza would be like o.o
Lyme> ... gross and impossible to eat
ChiDoll> yeah. talk about feeding your pants. and shirt.
Lyme> and your socks and shoes and if you're real messy, even your underwear.
ChiDoll> *snork*
Lyme> just open up your pants and shovel the spaghetti in
ChiDoll> that would feel funny
Lyme> ... there's got to be a pickup line in there somewhere.
ChiDoll> lol
Lyme> god, it would feel really nasty if it was COLD spaghetti.
Lyme> like having underwear full of dead baby cthulhus
ChiDoll> cold spaghetti tends to clump together in a nest, though
Lyme> mmm there's a mental image for you
Lyme> it won't clump if it's got sauce on it
ChiDoll> *snickergiggle*
ChiDoll> "want me to put some sauce on your spaghetti, baby?"
Lyme> ... you perved that didn't you
Lyme> yeeeup
ChiDoll> YESS
Lyme> I MEANT TOMATOSAUCE OH GREAT NOW I'M THINKING ABOUT MENSTRUATION

Dainichi> Holy crap
Dainichi> I am hopped up on coffee
Dainichi> Is this what it's like to be awake?
Dainichi> because I forgot this

Satan> I already have something to tell me I've drunk too much if I pee on it. My friends.

CleverSleazoid> I'm kinda freaked out. I saw a dude in the walmart parking lot today who looked like george lucas.
CleverSleazoid> and then at publix, the people in line in front of me were buyin lots of bottled water and like, 3 big tubs of cottage cheese.
CleverSleazoid> my mind took that and perverted the fuck out if it.
Satan> That could either be really boring or really kinky
CleverSleazoid> cottage cheese eating contest!
CleverSleazoid> or, for really kinky 'cottage cheese eating contest, and you're the bowl!'
Satan> My brain went straight to pee fetish combined with food fetish
CleverSleazoid> okay I didn't go to pee fetish
Satan> You said lots of water
CleverSleazoid> I'm hoping they bought the water to wash down the cottage cheese >_<
CleverSleazoid> I was in there buying ice cream
CleverSleazoid> cause ET posted the thingie about colbert's ice cream and that made me want ice cream
Kaiser> You know, this kind of dialogue just isn't considered normal anywhere else
CleverSleazoid> Nah, not really
CleverSleazoid> that's why we're so fucking awesome.

* Topic is 'Roses are red, violets are blue, in Soviet Russia, cat macros YOU!'

Faceitlan> If male daleks are plungers, does that mean female daleks have toilets for poons?

Lyme> yeahhhhh sugar free chocolate makes your ass do funny things.

Lyme> more strange spam:
Lyme> We carry only the best prescription medication. homophobia
Lyme> homophobia is now a perscribed medicine.
Lyme> AFRAID YOU MIGHT CATCH THE GAY? TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR ABOUT HOMOPHOBIA.
Lyme> AVAILABLE BY PERSCRIPTION ONLY.
Lyme> side effects may include: upset stomach, nausea, headaches, people calling you an asshat, fear of rainbows, diarrhea
Lyme> also try our homophobia XR: Extended release
Lyme> for when you need to be an asshat all day long

Dainichi> Oh my god I'm so mad my teeth want to pull back and eat my own head.

HyperKinetic> I want to have a vagina as a pet. I'd call it "pinky" and play with it all day

Lyme> my dad used to eat pizza with a fork and a knife
Lyme> WTF
Fraggle> I did that once or twice
Fraggle> Normally I just slam my face in the box and eat my way out!
Lyme> ohhh why did that make me think also of oral sex.

Lyme> oh, I bought these cookies at publix
Lyme> AND THEY MADE ME POOP GREEN.
Lyme> ^_____________________________^

Lyme> ecstacies i'm sorry
Lyme> but we can't do this with
Lyme> my goddamn phone bill
Lyme> NO MORE SEX WITH THE PHONEBILL
Fraggle> You'd get paper cuts

HyperKinetic> I want to try umm, that goose liver thingy. *Tries to remember* fois gras
Fargle> Do they cook it or is it raw?
HyperKinetic> I think they cook it
Fargle> I'd eat it if it's cooked
HyperKinetic> I'd eat you if you were cooked
Fargle> That could either be creepy or perverted.
Fargle> Possibly both

Inzombniac> dear weather channel: Fuck off with your celebration of the first day of spring
Inzombniac> and die
Inzombniac> before I explode your face
* Inzombniac stabs spring in the ASS.
Inzombniac> spring is like that overly peppy person you have to work with who says shit like 'somebody's got a case of the mondays lol' and decorates their desks with soft-light pictures of fluffy kittens and their grandkids
Inzombniac> and precious moment figurines
Fraggle> Precious Moments are evil
Inzombniac> creepy encephalitic headed big-buggedy eyed blonde children
Inzombniac> AHHHHHHH

HyperKinetic> My penis is indestructible.

Fraggle> Lyme, you're a gold mine of used panties.

Fraggle> The new model for my Figure Drawing class is a woman from the midwest, has quite the accent, and is kinda middle aged. She asked for a book to read since today we only did faces and she needed something to do. I lent her Haunted.
Fraggle> She said she had to stop reading Guts because she started laughing.
Fraggle> I was thinking "oh great, she's probably gonna tell me I'm a sicko" instead it was like "oh that was funny, guys are freaky bastards"
Lyme> heee
Lyme> yeah, that's a story I would not expect laughter as a reaction to
Fraggle> Yeah I know
Lyme> horror, revulsuion, shock, 'omg you sick fuck'
Fraggle> So our new model kinda kicks ass
Fraggle> I think midwest middle aged woman I do not think "laughs at horrific masturbation stories"

Lyme> I'm so boring, everything I spin gets turned into boring-ass 2 ply yarn
ChiDoll> spin something with dead babies in it!
Lyme> can't
Lyme> and I know this will sound wrong
Lyme> but I don't have an orifice big enough.
Lyme> And by orifice I mean ON MY SPINNING WHEEL.

ThunderPimp> i wanna put on a godzilla costume and terrorize a midget village

GypsyJr427: ... The lable on the live catnip plant my mom bought describes it as "safe and non-addictive."
GypsyJr427: I think the war on drugs has officially gone too far.

ChiZombie> dammit i need a stretch of days where i'm not expected to function properly irl so's i can test how long i can stay up without hallucinating >.>
GypsyJr> I can test that for you!
ChiZombie> xD
GypsyJr> :D
Quasadu> that sounds like SCINCE! to me
Quasadu> err. ... science
* ChiZombie hands Quas an extra E
GypsyJr> I'll be Chi's lab rat.
ChiZombie> :>
Quasadu> <-- a little drunk
Lyme> she keeps them in her pants
Lyme> Chi keeps vowels in her pants
ChiZombie> but i wanna test it for myself, tooooo ^_^
* Quasadu roots around in chi's pants for extra vowels
* ChiZombie checks her pants for As
Lyme> for ass?
ChiZombie> mahaha
* Quasadu is after the O's
ChiZombie> *facepalmsnork*
ChiZombie> jesus in the holy ghost's pants. that's getting a little incestuous...
Quasadu> well you know what they say. if you can't keep it in your pants, keep it in the fmily
Lyme> I should watch colbert.
* Lyme remote hunts
Quasadu> family*
VaidahVai> last night I couldn't stop looking at Ann Coulter's hair.....
GypsyJr> ....ew
ChiZombie> eugh
VaidahVai> her hair is like...FRIZ FREE
GypsyJr> I love how we can joke about incest but ann coulter makes us go URGH

Lyme> someone bought some roving from me on etsy and I said I'd ship to canada
Lyme> and I looked on the usps website, it said 3.25 airmail to canada.
Vaidah> airmail.....?
Lyme> so I thought 'yay' and they wanted insurance so I said okay
Vaidah> ooh, i forget that some states don't border canada, XD
Lyme> only to come to find out that HAHA, USPS doesn't offer insurance on airmail to canada!
Lyme> so I end up having to spend $11+ to send it registered mail >_<
Vaidah> what DO they offer insurance on to canada?
Vaidah> ahn
Lyme> it's apparently so complicated and arcane that I can't grasp it
Lyme> packages - AND ONLY PACKAGES! - of a certain weightsizeshapedimensioncolorandconsistency but only if the moon is full!
Vaidah> oo, moon is full or blue moon?
Lyme> a full blue harvest moon! AND ONLY ON TUESDAYS, IF IT'S AN ECLIPSE.

Fraggle> So since I'm not the only one that imagines folks nakey, when you see a couple walking down the street do you think about how funny they must look going at it?

GypsyJr> to hell with the war on terror, there needs to be a war on stupidity

Fargle> I've spent about $30-$40 on makeup. >_<
Fargle> On the bright side it will likely last for years
Lyme> holy shit
Lyme> I spent like, $8
Lyme> and even then I was going 'OMFG TOO EXPENSIVE'
Fargle> heh
Lyme> for mascara and eyeliner
Fargle> But how done up does Aya need to be?
Lyme> luckily, not really.
Lyme> thanks to the glasses
Fargle> Yurasama is so damn pretty he needs a lot
Lyme> so it's like, something to cover up freckles - and I already have a coverup stick
Fargle> And I tried to get stuff that was considered a good brand by people I know
Lyme> lipgloss, which I stole from trade secret >_>
Lyme> and then the mascara and eyeliner
Lyme> anything more than that can fuck off
Fargle> Apparently anything but Maybelline (however its spelled) in mascara burns my mothers eyes, so I got that specific brand just in case
Lyme> I'll be doing good if I manage not to poke my eye out, putting that makeup on
Lyme> o_O
Fargle> Yeah
Lyme> JESUS WHAT THE FUCK
Fargle> So that was $6 in and of itself
Lyme> WE NEED TO sTOP THIS RIGHT NOW
Lyme> NO TALKING MAKEUP IN NINJAPORN
Lyme> IT'S *WRONG*
* ChiDoll snickers
* Fargle snorts
Fargle> The things we do for cosplay?
Elyk> can me and Hyper talk makeup?
ChiDoll> especially when it's the chicks talking about it
Lyme> DICKS POO VAJAYJAY MCHOOHA DEAD BABIES.
Lyme> now I feel better.
Fargle> I'm going to make up for it by buying shitload of fake blood and rolling around in it
Fargle> ...pun NOT intended there
Lyme> Yes, because dudes talking about makeup in here would be okay.
ChiDoll> COCK COCK BOOBIES?
* Lyme is now known as VajajayMcHooha
ChiDoll> lol
VajajayMcHooha> euphemisms for vagina are so much fun.
Fargle> EXCELSIOR!
* ChiDoll is now known as PantyHamster
VajajayMcHooha> Especially ours.
PantyHamster> >.>
VajajayMcHooha> SQUISH MITTEN!
* Fargle is now known as PinkVelvetSausageWallet
VajajayMcHooha> TEH NOONAR HOLE
VajajayMcHooha> I'm just going to be amused
VajajayMcHooha> that every op now is vaginal slang.

Lyme> You know
Lyme> with the way I'm attracted to all things green
Lyme> it's a good thing the jolly green giant is only a cartoon

Vaidah> my Ramune just exploded on me
Fraggle> Mmmmmmm ramune
Vaidah> i'm all sticky now
Vaidah> DAMN YOU AND YOUR STRAWBERRY GOODNESS
* Fraggle likes the original lemon lyme flavor
Fraggle> fuck.
Fraggle> lime

ChiDoll> you could do some of that fancy useless novelty yarn >.>
Lyme> actually, I kind of can't.
Lyme> The orifice on my wheel isn't big enough
ChiDoll> *giggle* orifice
Lyme> that's what it's called!
Lyme> It's a hole! It's an orifice!
ChiDoll> i knooow, but is still funny XD
weyoun21> >.>
ChiDoll> your spinning wheel has an orifice! *cackle*
Lyme> I also have a thing called a niddynoddy.
ChiDoll> mahahahaaa
Lyme> Which is a totally sprangable word right there.
Fraggle> hehehehehehe
weyoun21> now we need to write spinning wheel slash fic!
Lyme> AUGH
ChiDoll> oh god
Fraggle> do you stick your niddynoddy into the origice?
Fraggle> orifice
* ChiDoll falls over ded from laughing
Lyme> ... no.
Fraggle> goddammit
Lyme> but I do stick my fiber hook in there.
Fraggle> heheheheheheheheeee
ChiDoll> ooh is that what you call it? *eyebrow waggle*
Lyme> niddynoddy = thing you wind yarn onto to turn it into a skein
weyoun21> heheheee
Lyme> Oh, I see
Lyme> so for once I'm not being the perv in here
Elyk> niddynoddy...
Lyme> I'll niddy your noddy
ChiDoll> i'll butter yer rolls!
Lyme> it's such a funny word
Elyk> I'm gonna get all niddynoddy in here
* Fraggle slaps her brain
Elyk> sounds like naughty
Fraggle> Are you a noddy boy?
weyoun21> and it makes me think of a noodle
Lyme> Whoever named it must have been drunk
Fraggle> That's what I was just thinking >_<
ChiDoll> 'hay baybee, can i stick my fiber hook into your orifice?'
Lyme> It sounds like some kind of word you'd use as an insult, circa 1850 london
Lyme> to indicate that someone is a silly woman
Lyme> 'You're such a niddynoddy'
Fraggle> I was thinking it sounded like some weird British food
Lyme> spotted dick!
Fraggle> treacle, spotted dick, and niddynoddy
Fraggle> I suspect that comes from reading 5 pratchett novels in a row
ChiDoll> dun forget bangers
Lyme> o_O
Fraggle> lobscouse, wet nellies, and slumpie
Lyme> WHAT'D YOU CALL ME?!
* Lyme is now known as Slumpie
Fraggle> I called you some disguting sounding foods
Slumpie> I'm an emo slurpee
* Slumpie slumps.
* Slumpie combs her hair all up in her face

* HyperKinetic walks around with dick tucked
HyperKinetic> I look so pretty
HyperKinetic> SEE THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I GET BORED.

Fraggle> We don't need voices in our head telling us to do evil things, we tell each other to do them

Vaidah> speaking of gackt
* Vaidah is rocking out to: Gackt - Tea cup | Love letter [128 kbps 44 kHz | 00:51 of 05:29]
Lyme> dunno
Lyme> NEXT HE'S GONNA SING IT IN KLINGON!
Vaidah> that would be so fucking awesome
weyoun21> that'd be awesome
Lyme> then the klingons would get angry when he mangles some sentence into a horrible insult and kill him.

GypsyJr> There was a birth announcment that made the rounds on the internet awhile ago where someone had named their kid Sephiroth.
GypsyJr> And it was at my local hospital.
HyperKinetic> Haha
ChiDoll> *snork*
GypsyJr> I was like ".... okay, future therapy patient right down the street."
HyperKinetic> THat poor kid is going to get his ass kicked
HyperKinetic> "Hey Sephiroth! Where's your sword? *wedgie*"
GypsyJr> For the poor kid's sake, I hope his classmates never find out about slash fanfic.
ChiDoll> ohh, that would be psychologically damaging.
HyperKinetic> I'm not surprised about slash for FF7, but also... hahaha
* HyperKinetic snickers
HyperKinetic> And everything being available on the internet...
GypsyJr> Which is why it's generally a bad idea to name your kid after a video game villain.
HyperKinetic> Does Sephiroth do the nasty with Cloud or something?
GypsyJr> Hell, just name the kid Bowser. He may be a pixelated lizard, but at least no one's writing porn about him.
GypsyJr> My friend's the FF fan, but yeah, probably.
ChiDoll> *snicker* i wouldn't be surprised if there has been...
GypsyJr> Yeah... that's Rule 34, isn't it? XD
GypsyJr> If you can imagine it, there's already porn about it.
ChiDoll> you think of it, it's been porned!
ChiDoll> xD
HyperKinetic> Quantum Fetish Porn
* ChiDoll replaces Hyper's Porn with Mechanics
GypsyJr> mmm. mechanic porn
GypsyJr> ...wait. Never mind.
ChiDoll> depends on how hot your mechanic is *eyebrow waggle*
GypsyJr> "Oh yeah, you can lube my chassis anytime..."