He stood in the doorway, his arms crossed, until it started to slide closed with a whir of air and gears. *Pilot’s into everybody’s business again*, he mused silently. Though he’d obviously moved around enough within the room for Aeryn to notice his presence, she hadn’t looked up. She was still working on some component or other of her Prowler, pointedly neglecting to acknowledge him. He could almost feel the resentment emanating from her.

Aeryn was one to keep her emotions to herself. She hadn’t spoken to anyone about what had happened to his brother, twin, clone, whatever. To his surprise, however much it had grated on his nerves knowing that it wasn’t him onboard Talyn with Aeryn, it had actually hurt a part of him when he’d found that the other John had died. He’d died protecting the others, though. He’d given his life to protect them. To protect Aeryn. It was something he would have done. John took solace in those facts, even if Aeryn didn’t. The whole survivor’s guilt thing, or something. She took those things as almost an insult, no matter how much he’d struggled to humanize her. *Humanize… Oh, she’d give me an ass whippin’ if she’d heard that.*

“Pilot.” Aeryn finally spoke, “I thought I requested that I not be disturbed.”

“I am sorry, Officer Sun, I did not receive your request.”

She looked in his general direction for less than a microt. “What are you doing here?”

“I just thought-”

“If you’re not going to assist, get out.”

*Well, at least she’s speaking to me.* He sat down on the floor beside her and handed her a tool before she asked for it. That seemed to disturb her. Her facial muscles tightened.

“You know what I think?” He asked quietly.

She sighed with open irritation. “What?”

“Things happened and you got hurt in the end. I think there are a lot thing you don’t want to face.”

“You can leave, now.”

“I’m not going anywhere. I’m going to be on Moya for a really long time, and so are you. It’s been half an arn, Aeryn. What do you think, we’re going to stay on opposite ends of this ship? Are you going to draw a line down the middle and say ‘you stay on your half and I’ll stay on mine’? That won’t work, Aeryn.” He could feel her beginning to lose control of her anger. That wasn’t exactly the emotion he was aiming for, but he couldn’t stop his lips from flapping. Not that that was unusual. “I know how you must-”

She turned her head sharply, her attention exclusively on him, now. Her long, dark braid swung, almost going over her shoulder, sliding back at the last moment. *Funny, the things you notice at odd times.*

“You have NO idea what happened. You do not know how I feel. Keep out of this.” Her eyes flared and she turned away once more.

He knew how he was pushing her. He put a hand lightly on her back. “Aeryn. I. Am. Not. Dead.”

She came up off the floor and was on top of him before he knew what was happening. She straddled his chest, her fists above his face where he’d caught her by the wrists. “Whoa! Aeryn- Aeryn! I’m sorry!”

She glared down at him, straight into his eyes, as if she wanted to tear out his throat. Her expression faltered and suddenly softened before she pushed roughly away from him and walked quickly away.

Aeryn sat down on the edge of her bunk and rubbed her face. “I am not going to do this.” She groaned to herself. “I let it happen once. I will not do it again.”

Something bumped the side of her boot. She looked down. Just a DRD. It beeped in sequence. “I’m busy.” She told it.

Pilot’s voice came over her comm. “Officer Sun-”

“I’m fine, Pilot. There is no need to send the DRDs to my quarters.” The little yellow mechanoid buzzed off as quickly as it came, sounding almost dejected.

Her thoughts were falling out of order. Oh, how she wished that Zhaan were still with them. She had been the one with the advice. Zhaan would have been able to help. Perhaps. There couldn’t have been a more violent blow to her soul than losing John. Soul. Another thing she’d learned from Zhaan. And then to see John again?! To watch him die, and then he was there again?! Not the same person. Not really. Not since they’d been on Talyn, anyway. Things had happened on Talyn that only she knew about, now. Whether she wanted to keep it that way, she didn’t quite know. She didn’t know much of anything right now.

There was a knock on her door. “I’m busy!” She yelled.

“I’m not going away.”

“John-” she nearly shuddered at saying his name. “Please.”

He touched the sensor to open her door, anyway. “Aeryn, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean-”

“What are you trying to do?”

“I’m trying to get you to realize that you’re still alive.”

“I am a soldier. It doesn’t matter, what happened back there. For the good of the-”

John approached her, more carefully, this time. “You’re not a soldier anymore. You’re not a PeaceKeeper.”

“What am I, then? Another little girl, here? I have to be more than an adult, John. The other females on this ship, when do they not behave as adolescents?? I have to-”

“They’re not children. They aren’t exactly playing in their doll houses.”

“Their wh- nevermind. Get out of my room.”

He spoke softly before moving to leave. “Don’t push me away. I love you.”

“John-” She said urgently, and he stopped cold before turning slowly back. There were tears in her eyes. Even if she hadn’t wanted him to, if she hadn’t meant what her voice led him to think, he went to her. He sat down beside her on the bunk and put an arm around her. He didn’t want to end up laid out on the floor again. When she leaned against him, he put the other around her. Aeryn? Sobbing? And against his shoulder? He held her tighter. He looked down. A little slobber on the shirt never hurt anybody, he thought, leaning his cheek against the top of her head. Her hair was warm with body heat. He kissed her hair, then her forehead, and ran a hand over the back of her head before returning it around her shoulders.

Aeryn sniffed and pulled away slowly, wiping at her eyes. “I’m sorry- I shouldn’t have-”

“You don’t have anything to apologize for.” He touched her cheek with the back of his fingers and leaned forward, waiting for her to back away. She didn’t. John slid an arm around her waist and kissed her, releasing her hair from the tight braid with his other hand before cradling her cheek with it. She slipped her hands behind his neck and rested them there. Everything else disappeared from his mind when she finally touched him. Her skin was like satin, no matter how much a soldier she still was.

John lay facing her back, his arms wrapped around her, his body conformed to hers. He kissed the back of her neck before laying his cheek in her hair. “You don’t know how much I love you, Aeryn.”

She didn’t say anything, but she wanted to. *Oh, yes I do.*