“I just know Kemper’s gonna mind-frell us with those last four eps.”

“Well, of course he is. Wouldn’t be Kemper if he didn’t.”

“And he’s gonna torture John and Aeryn and prolly everybody else on the fweakn show!!!”

“He oughta at least give us some kind of break. Give us a little porn in between angst or something!”

“Ya know what?”

Everybody chimed in, “What?”

“Let’s go convince him to be a bit nicer to em.”

“And us!”

The Grrls looked at each other with enormous grins on their faces. “Let’s storm Kemper!” They yelled, and ran for their PeaceKeeper uniforms! They came back out, red and black leather gracing them all around.

“I believe we’ll need these-” Faren said as she opened a cabinet and began handing out the pulse pistols and holsters.

They strapped on their holsters and snapped their pistols into place. Gyp grinned and yelled, “Let’s go!”

“To Kemper’s house!” Chi pumped her fist in the air.

Violette charged forward and the rest followed close behind as she called to them, “Storm the gates!”

“The gates? O.o” Chi asked.

Faren elbowed her and giggled, “Just go with it.”

“Yeah!” They all chorused as they piled into the SUV they’d lovingly deemed ‘Talyn’, along with a few extra surprises for Kemper.

They arrived quite soon (since #farscape is just down the road, you know) and knocked on his door. It was close to 3am, and he wasn’t exactly happy to be awakened from a dead sleep, but the Grrls were much unhappier with him.

“What the frell is this?” He asked, standing there in a pair of pink and green striped boxers, and stumbled away from the pack of stunningly gorgeous, PeaceKeeper uniform clad, ScaperGrrls as they smiled sweetly at him. He could obviously tell that there was something with his name on it behind those grins.

“Hiya DK!” Gyp said, and pushed him out of the doorway so they could all enter.

Chi closed the door and skipped along to catch up to the rest of them.

Kemper looked at the pulse pistols they were all strapped with. O.o “Whaaaa- what are you doing here?”

“First you killed off Aeryn…but that was fine, cuz she came back in the next ep…”

“But then you kicked Zhaan’s bucket!”

“And you’ve got TalynJohn pushin up daisies now!”

“That wasn’t enough? You had to try to drive Aeryn crazier than a Scaper in the process?!”

Kemper was suddenly cornered. He fell back into an armchair, with a look of horror mixed with awe on his face. Violette stepped forward and whipped out a length of rope.

“What are you going to do with that?!” Kemper squeaked, his eyes growing wider.

“Aw, nothin.” Gyp grinned, walking around behind him and clamping her hands down on his shoulders as Violette skipped around him to tie him to the chair.

The four ScaperGrrls stepped back to unsheath their trout and their ultimate Secret Weapon. Kemper saw this Secret Weapon, as all four Grrls had one, and gasped, unable to utter a word.

Faren whapped him on the head with her trout, “That’s for killing Aeryn!”

“This is for killing Zhaan!” Chi said, and she and Gyp whapped him with their trout at the same time, on both cheeks.

“That’s for killing TalynJohn!” Gyp told him.

Violette thwapped him with her trout, “That’s for twinning him in the first place! We knew you’d kill him off!”

They all held the Secret Weapon in their other hands… Gyp raised hers high in the air and waved it at him, yelling, “NEKKID SCORPY!!!” as they whapped him continuously with the unclothed hybrids!

“And this-”

“Is for-”

“Torturing all-”

“Of us!!-”

Kemper came to slowly, his eyes crossed for a while. The ScaperGrrls stood in front of him, snickering madly. Confuzzled, he turned to the mirror they’d placed beside him, and screamed like a little girl. The Grrls began giggling harder as he discovered the Gianormous Curlers pinned (with quite a bit of trouble) in his hair, the black thigh highs, and the red pumps.

“It’s not that we didn’t looooove our FarScape characters in those.”

“We just had to show *you* what it’s like to hafta wear it!”

Violette stepped forward, grabbing him by the mivonks. She grinned as he squeaked. “Now, DK, are you going to torture our beloved characters anymore?”

“But-but-”

“No buts. A leetle bit of torture, okay. A leetle bit of angst is fine. A lot of porn is better. But driving our characters out of their minds and killing off true loves every few episodes is starting to drive *us* crazy! And you don’t want *that* do you? Do you?!”

“No!”

“No what?”

“No ma’am!”

“Now apologize.”

“Apologise for what?”

She squeezed just a bit harder. “Does it really matter what you’re apologizing for right now?”

“No ma’am! I’m sorry ma’am!”

“That’s better.” She smiled and wiped her hands on her black leather pants.

The Grrls, very proud of themselves now, stomped out of his house with their PeaceKeeper boots, shutting the door on a still quite confuzzled Kemper.

around 5 months later:

The four ScaperGrrls were sitting around #farscape, watching a brand-spanking-new episode of FarScape. By the end of the ep, they’d all gone through the basic laughter, anger, and tears they’d become strangely accustomed to during their FarScape. At the end of the ep, the words “TO BE CONTINUED…” flashed at the bottom of the screen, leaving their favourite characters in yet another torturous cliff hanger!

Violette looked around at the other Grrls. “Faren,” she said, “I do believe we’re gonna need those pulse pistols again.”